i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
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