The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
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