When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
Its about making memories worth repressing
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
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