I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
