I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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