I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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