The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
