is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
This house was built for laser tag.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
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sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
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