You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
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