And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
