***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
