Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
