i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
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