How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Randomize
