i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
