Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
