I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Randomize
