pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Randomize
