In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
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