What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Randomize
