some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Randomize
