Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Randomize
