I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
