I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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