just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
i used baking grease as lip gloss
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Randomize
