i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
