if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize
