She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
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So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
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I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
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