I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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