Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
