Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I came so hard my ears popped.
Randomize
