I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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