I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Then you guys just all showered together...?
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
