nut hugger
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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