I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
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