ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
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