I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Someone came in the potted fern
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize