I skipped work to stalk him.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
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