Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
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