Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
She told me I should be a condom model.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
