That's intense
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
