the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize
