at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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