she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
