I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Randomize