Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Randomize
