Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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