Your tits are I can't wait for
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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