Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
