my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize