So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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