I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Randomize
