I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
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