seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
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