i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
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