Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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