im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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