Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
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