dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
i know! what is this dateline?
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
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while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
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Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Let's get the cat blown out