you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Is This New Dating App Elitist…Or Genius?
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.