so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
25 People Confess What They Really Think When They See An Obese Person
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
21 Disappointing Confessions From Teenage Fathers
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability