Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
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