Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
