why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
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