My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
I came so hard my ears popped.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize