i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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