Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
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