with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
