Come see our sink grown plant.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
