you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
