I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
